Brunch Behavior: The Pour Report is your new 7-minute or less podcast habit—Sip Sermons served with sharp wit, cultural clarity, and one takeaway worth toasting to. Hosted by STYLES, creator of the Brunch Behavior book series.
September said, “Your turn. Plan the date.” And apparently he came with expectations.
On this episode of Brunch Behavior: The Pour Report, we’re talking dating, reciprocity, communication, intentional relationships, and what it really means to pay attention to your partner.
Because planning the date isn’t about how much you spend. It’s about whether the night actually feels like him.
And ladies, if you say, “I planned something special,” then ask him where he wants to go…
Ma’am. That’s delegation.
We’re also pouring The Good Listener, because apparently listening is sexy now.
So apparently September is unofficially, officially, take your man on a date month. I saw this on a poster other day and I started laughing. Because women spend years telling dudes, plan a date. Be intentional, pay attention, surprise me. And my favorite, I shouldn't have to tell you everything I like. Cool, heard you. Here's a new perspective. If September Ward got now, he's pointing the finger at you, talking about it's your turn. And he was feisty about it too. Taking notice, I said feisty, not sassy. And to my guys, don't start sending this post to your woman with 17 exclamation points. Relax. Because this isn't about how much money she spends. We don't care about that. I don't care about that. You shouldn't care about that. But if you've been talking about this little restaurant for six months and somehow she booked a place that she wanted to try, nah, homie. That wasn't for you. That was for her. Let's be clear. You're just transportation. Got it? Good. Let's go inside, grab a drink, and discuss further. Welcome to Brunch Behavior, the Poor Report. I'm Styles. And today's pour a little reciprocity, a little attention to detail, and September standing at the door with his arms folded, like, yo, what is your man actually like? Cause you look confused. Oh yeah, he came to start trouble. Let me break this down for you.
The SIP Sermon. Here's why I personally like this idea. Taking your man out on a date gives you an opportunity to answer a very simple question. Have you been paying attention? That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't care if the date costs $20, I don't care if it costs $200. I don't care if we're eating steak, tacos, or sitting somewhere with two coffees talking shit about strangers. People watching actually happens to be one of my favorite hobbies. But what I'm really paying attention to is did you think about me when you planned it? That's what matters to me. Because there's a difference between knowing somebody and knowing enough about somebody to keep them happy. Those are two very different things. See, sometimes in a relationship we start checking boxes. Ask how his day was. Got him something for his birthday. Check. Made sure he ate. Check. Has sex? Check. Everybody good? Cool. And then you pat him on his back and send him on his way. Nah, mama. He's not a Tamagotchi. You can't feed him, tap the screen twice, and assume he's emotionally thriving. We need you to actually show us. And women ask men to do that shit all the time, right? You want us to remember the flowers, the restaurant, the coffee order, the thing you pointed out in Target four months ago that apparently became a test. We didn't even know we were taking. Y'all will say shit like, yo, I showed you this already. And of course, I'm gonna ask when, or whomever's gonna ask when, and you'll say back in March, and we be like, yo, March, and you know it becomes this back and forth. It's September. You show me that shit in March. Y'all expect us to maintain photographic evidence, but to be honest with you, me personally, I do a physical memory dump every six seconds. Well, six seconds after the conversation's done. But you know what though? On the flip side, that's fair. Because when somebody matters to you, you pay attention. So now September walked in. We're gonna use September as our union rep for dates, right? So your man throws his his keys and his wallet on the table, and he's like, Okay, ladies, let's see your notes. And personally, I definitely wanna see the paperwork. Yo, fellas, don't get too excited because if she plans something thoughtful and you spend the entire night acting like you won a custody battle, you're gonna ruin it for everybody. So sit your ass down, please. Act like you've been here before. Here's what makes thoughtfulness important. Men don't always verbalize every single thing we want. Sometimes we'll just mention stuff, we'll say shit like, yo, that spot looks good, and then continue scrolling on our phone, or I haven't been bowling in years, and then just keep the conversation going. Or I used to love going to record stores. Nobody goes to fucking record stores anymore for the record. But that's it though. No announcement, no PowerPoint, no follow-up email. But six months later, if you pop up and say, Yo, get dressed, I found the vinyl spot. And there's a restaurant around the corner that I think you like. Oh, wait a minute. You heard me? Now we're talking because the actual gift isn't the date. Watch this. The gift is realizing somebody was listening when you didn't think you were saying anything important. I think we can all agree that that hits different.
Now, since we're talking about women taking their men out on dates, today's feature drink could only be called your turn. Because, fellas, apparently September is the month we get to sit there, look handsome, and ask, so where are we going? And here's what's going in the glass: blanco tequila, red bull, pineapple juice, fresh lime juice, and a splash of orange liqueur. Shake everything except the Red Bull, pour over ice in a tall glass, and top it off with Red Bull. And if you want to see me make your turn, head over to the afterpour on YouTube for the full bell. And ladies, do me a favor, make the reservation. We've been pretending not to care what we eat for years. It's your turn. Disclaimer. Now,
before anybody starts taking screenshots and sending this episode into group chats where, see, I told you, knock it off. This is not a relationship exam. Do not take that man to David Buster's on a Saturday, watch his facial expression all night, and then come home talking about it. Interesting. Very interesting. What are you, the FBI? That was rhetorical. Relax. And fellas, you're not sitting there grading her either. Hmm. This is a 7 out of 10. She forgot I prefer boot seating. Sir, you were eating chicken wings and playing basketball 20 minutes ago. Have some humility. The point is simple. Does she think about you or not? Cool. Let's continue.
The brunch behavior breakdown. Now this is where September starts getting messy. Because if your woman plans the entire date around you, we're about to find out some things. First, where we going? Because this tells me immediately whether you know me or whether you know men. Those are not the same thing. If I've told you 700 times I don't like nightclubs and you're surprised it's a nightclub, nah mama. Who's this day for? Because it damn sure isn't styles. And now I'm standing up in somebody's VIP section holding a sparkler. I'm not holding a sparkler. I'm not, yeah, no, we're not. But if you know I like a particular type of food or music or comedy, or some little hole in the wall spot place I mentioned, now you got my attention. Because that says I wasn't just hearing you, I was listening. There's a big difference. Second, can you plan it without making me plan it? Ladies, you can't say I'm taking you out Saturday and then follow that with so where you wanna go. That doesn't make sense. It's stupid. You just delegated my own surprise back to me. That's not a date, that's management. Now I'm the project manager on the evening you supposedly plan for me. Nah, I'm good. You said you got it, you get it. Tell me what time to be ready, tell me how to dress, and send me the address if I'm eating you there. I want to experience this mysterious lifestyle where somebody else has the itinerary. I've heard nothing but good things about it. And ladies, for the love of God, please don't say I have a surprise for you and then ask me to make the reservation. Matter of fact, pause this real quick. I want you to find a mirror and say that shit to yourself real slow. And then come back to me. Third, is there anything during this day that says you know specifically who I am? And I really like this part because anybody can make a reservation. That's not hard, but did you remember something? Maybe you ordered the drink that I always get. Maybe you found a restaurant that serves the dish I mentioned. Maybe there's a live band playing music that I actually listen to. Maybe you found tickets of something that I didn't even know was happening. Maybe I've been moving nonstop for the last three weeks, so instead of dragging me outside, you say, yo, tonight we're staying in. I got your favorite food, I got the drink, and nobody's asking you for anything. Hold on. Say that last part again. Nobody's asking me for anything. Oh, you've been studying. Because I I technically am a little bit of a homebody, you see. And fellas, that cost what it costs. That's not the point. The point is she knew what we needed. Fourth, does the date feel like me? Or did you just put my name on something that you wanted to do? Because y'all get creative with this one. Babe, I planned something special for you. Okay. But we end up at your favorite restaurant. Your friends are here. You pick the movie, you order your favorite bottle. And somehow I'm taking pictures of you all night. Nah, mama. This is giving your birthday vibes. And your birthday is four months away. So let's stop playing. If we're doing something for somebody else, sometimes that means stepping outside of what you would choose. And that's the whole point. Thoughtfulness requires curiosity. Thoughtfulness also sounds a little bit like this. It says, What makes a person light up when it has absolutely nothing to do with me? That's how you find out whether you actually know the person you're with. Or whether they simply become another role in your life. Boyfriend, husband, partner, side piece, whatever. Had to throw that in there, sorry. Because no man wants to just fill the boyfriend box. We want you to know the person standing inside of it. And finally, can you make them feel appreciated without turning it into a production? See, and that matters. Because appreciation doesn't always need balloons, it doesn't need rose petals, it doesn't need a photographer hiding behind a plant. Sometimes it does, who knows? Sometimes it's just, I thought you like this. That's it. Simple. Because men are used to being useful. We solve problems, we carry things, we plan, we drive, we fix, we figure it out. We get the call when something goes wrong. So when somebody occasionally looks at us and says, Nah, I got you this time, we notice. We may play it cool because we're men, or we might even hit you with the yo, this is nice. But meanwhile, internally, we might be doing backflips. But don't worry about it, because that's for us to process privately.
The final pull. So yeah, I'm with September on this one. Take that man on a date. I'm I'm out here campaigning for my date. Um That's what I'm doing. But don't worry about trying to impress him with the receipt. Impress him with the memory. Show him you remember the little stuff. Show him that when he talks, you aren't just waiting for your turn to speak. That's important. Show me isn't just another box on the relationship checklist. Because you can technically do everything right and still make somebody feel completely unseen. And being seen in the relationship is uber important, but we all know this, right? Because I'm assuming that I'm talking to grown people. And this goes both ways. Fellas, same rule applies to us. You can buy the flowers, make the reservation, pay the check, open the door in the building, and still not know that woman at all. The money was never the impressive part. Knowing your person is. So when you plan something for them, there should be a little piece of them somewhere in the experience. That's a fucking ball. Something that makes them turn around and look at you and go, damn, you remembered that? Yeah, that's the good stuff. And that's your pool for today. Sip happens. Every sip tells a story. Alright, we're gonna try to get through this. It's been 17,000 months since I've done this, but here we
go. If you need something to pour while you're planning a date, grab the free pour. Five drinks, five sermons, and a good excuse to sit down and actually pay attention to the person across from you. And when you're ready to take the whole brunch situation up a notch, grab the brunch behavior of the summer pack. The links in the description. Ladies, September said take that man out. And I'm not arguing with him. And he was a little aggressive with it. Just remember, don't show them how much you're willing to spend. Show them how closely you've been listening. Because being loved feels good. But being known, that's when you realize somebody wasn't checking the box. They were actually paying attention. I'm Styles. Catch you on the next poll.
