Are You a Date Partner or a Dependent?

If You Can’t Plan a Date, Don’t Expect a Relationship

In this episode of Brunch Behavior: The Pour Report, we’re unpacking the lazy love language of “whatever you want to do” and why date planning is a maturity flex—not a gender role. If one person’s doing all the work while the other shows up with opinions and no initiative? That’s not partnership. That’s performance with a plus-one.

This pour covers:

• Why date night should be a two-player game—not a solo mission
 • How “I’ll go wherever” stopped being cute after high school
 • Why planning meals and vibes is grown-up foreplay
• The red flag of cycling through the same three restaurants every time
• The difference between generosity and one-sided energy
• Effort isn’t masculine. It isn’t feminine. It’s emotional intelligence.
• If they critique but never contribute, they're not a date—they’re a dependent

🎧 If you’re tired of carrying the vibe while someone else just brings their appetite, this one’s for you.

🔥 Grab the Free Pour: five drinks, five sermons, five reminders to raise the bar.
📚 And when you’re ready to date someone who treats OpenTable like a love letter? The Brunch Behavior Summer Pack is waiting.
Links in the description.

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Next one when you're ready, partner. BK-Lexa’s got the menu and the mic.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Intro to Brunch Behavior
• 0:17 The Sip Sermon Begins
• 1:31 Brunch Behavior Breakdown
• 2:02 Planning Is Mature, Not Gendered

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Planning dates ain't just a man thing, it's a grown thing. Get your riot gear, cause it's going down. Welcome to Brunch Behavior. The Poor Report I'm Styles and today's poor thoughtful, with a splash of match my effort. Let me break this down for you. The Sip Sermon All right, I'm about to stir the pot with this one, so grab your drink and maybe a helmet.

Speaker 1: 0:27

We gotta talk about date planning and why some of y'all out here thinking it's a gender role instead of a grown role. Yeah, I said it, you show up in heels or fresh cut guy, girl, but what did you plan? Now, before somebody starts typing in all caps in the comments relax, I'm not saying split every tab or always take the lead, but if we're grown intentional in claiming we're all about reciprocity, then why is it always the person sweating the reservations while the other one shows up and critiques the vibe? Love languages should include planning energy, and if your idea of romance is, I'll go wherever you pick, you're not romantic, you're passive. You want flowers? Cool, but can I get a Google search? Can you find a dope pop-up comedy show? Or random with eight dollar sangrias on thursdays? Because, truth be told, knowing what we're gonna eat is foreplay at this point. So here's what it looks like in a while the brunch behavior breakdown. Let me paint the scene you texting back and forth all week, hope y'all talking about how you need a night out you with me. One of y'all finally says let's link Friday.

Speaker 1: 1:48

Now who's making the plan? If it's always the same person checking the menu, booking the table, checking for parking, picking the playlist and still showing up, looking fly, then the vibe ain't balanced. It'sitting meanwhile the other person talking about I don't care where we go and I'm down for whatever, until you pull up somewhere and the vibes weren't what they were expecting. Now suddenly they got opinions and appetite critiques. Not fair. If you're too grown to ask what we're doing but not grown enough to offer an idea, you're not a date. You're too grown to ask what we're doing but not grown enough to offer an idea, you're not a date, you're a dependent. All right, hold on, we got to stop right there. Listen, I'm happy with my you know my marriage and whatnot. Like doing our thing. It's a little disclaimer. All right, back to business. Let's also adjust the folks that do plan, but it's the same three places every single time. We're not in a rerun, baby. This ain't Law and Order.

Speaker 1: 2:51

The takeout unit, yo, you got to give the group chat something to be jealous of. Show creativity. And on the flip side, to my people who do plan, don't turn it into a game, don't keep score, just set the tone. And if you see that the energy is not being matched, pivot, don't pout. So what's the takeaway? Planning ain't about who wears the pants, it's about who wants the connection to fit. Effort isn't masculine or feminine, it's mature. And that's your pour for today. If you're ready to retire from the one-person planning committee, grab the free pool. Five drinks, five sermons, five reasons to expect more. And when you're ready to sit with someone who makes Open Table feel like love language, hit the Brunch Behavior Summer Pack. Links in the description. Just another calendar check from your boy Styles.