Emotional Labor is Not on the Menu

Grace for Me, Attitude for You? That’s Not Accountability

In this episode of Brunch Behavior: The Pour Report, we’re getting into that lopsided dynamic where folks demand grace but dish out attitude like it’s bottomless mimosas. You try to hold them accountable, and suddenly you’re the villain? Let’s talk about it.

On the menu:

• People who can critique everything—but crumble when it’s their turn to receive feedback
 • The “you should’ve told me” crowd… who never take it well when you actually do
• Why expecting grace while giving shade is straight-up manipulation
• How boundary-setting turns into blame-shifting real quick
• That moment when holding someone to their own standards makes you the problem
• The difference between authentic growth and defensive deflection
• And how some convos start as accountability—but end with you doing unpaid emotional labor

🎧 If every check-in feels like a therapy session you didn’t bill for, this one’s your emotional invoice.

🔥 Grab the Free Pour—five drinks, five sermons, and zero sugar-coated anything.
📚 And when you’re done coddling grown-ups, Brunch Behavior: The Summer Pack is here for the real growth.
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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to The Brunch Behavior
• 0:44 The Manipulation of Accountability
• 0:53 Real-World Breakdown of Misalignment
• 1:30 The Takeaway: Defense vs Grace
• 1:44 Closing and Resources

Transcript

Styles: 0:00

You want grace but you give attitude. Welcome to the Brunch Behavior, the Poor Report I'm Styles and today's poor, bittersweet and no refills, the Sip Sermon. Some folks can dish it out or fall apart. When it's their turn to hear the truth, they show up with attitude, move messy, drop the ball, then expect great softness and a whole understanding committee. When you bring it up, they say shit, like you should've just told me. But the last time you did, they caught feelings, played the victim and switched the subject. Let's be clear you want grace but you give attitude. That's not accountability, that's manipulation.

Styles: 0:49

Now here's what it really looks like in the wild Brunch behavior breakdown. You express a boundary and suddenly you're the problem. You hold someone to the same standard. They hold everyone else to. Now you're doing too much. It's convenient, because they want the perks of growth, but none of the pressure, perks of being seen as real, but none of the reflection. Here's the thing. People don't make correction personal, they make it part of the process. So if every conversation about your behavior turns into a therapy session for them, you're not in a friendship, you're in emotional labor. So what's the takeaway? If your default is defense but your demand is grace, you're not misunderstood, you're misaligned. Put that in your back pocket for later. That's your pour for today. If you needed that in your spirit or in your group chat, grab the free pour five drinks, five sermons and zero sugar-coated energy. And when you're ready to toast to real growth, tap into the brunch behavior, the summer pack, the link's in the description, as per usual. Just another grown folks reminder from your boy Styles.